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2004-08-04 - 4:10 p.m.

I really do not know why I'm starting back with thid diary...it is, as they say, a "time-sucker".

Well, life could be more sucky. I had to put the sweet Hemingway to sleep. Well, it feels more like I killed him and it's totally my fault for not being a more aware pet owner. I am overwhelmingly sad. At least, at this point anyway, it's not everyday. And now that I am home for the next two weeks, the loneliness is astounding.

I have been traveling, and in the last weeks, been to Michigan and Chicago (which I LOVE!! i could move there...) but, sadly, my Denver trip was cancelled. Wahhhhhhh. But sweaty, polluted Houston is on the horizon, as well as New York, then I am done for the summer, I think...

I am off to the river for the annual trip, and if I didn't know all the guys who were going, my odds on having a "good time" would be vastly improved.

Ratio: single boys staying at the house 6 : 1 single girl staying at the house

See?? nice odds. too bad none of them hold an interest in me, nor i for them. The Starbucks guy said he would go so my odds would be better. Frighteningly, i have developed a friendly relationship with my coffee pusher, dealer, whatever addiction supplier name you would like to use.

I am also a little scared, 'cause I am not sure if he flirts with all the girls or just me--because it is constant, everyday, and gets more personal. Granted, hot bod, good height (6'2'), but a total dork, and not at all my type of attractive--that is not to say he isn't attractive, because I am sure he is. I feel as if I may fall into my mind-frame of last year--casual sex.

I do not want to do that.

And I can't possibly date him, he can't be more than 25, and that is too young for me. I like to keep it somewhere between 29-37.

So, I have been avoiding that Starbucks, and it is fucking inconvenient.

 

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